He Speaks.............

Phil 4:19
Matt 6:31-33

I have been battling with being a great Christian and falling into sin and I am currently a work in progress. I always had the impression that there were some people God spoke to and I was never going to be one of them. Wait, I remember some years ago when I was a really active Christian and I think I once heard a voice tell me what to do and the obedience brought me success, but that was a long time ago. I backslided and fell into a lot of sins. I felt all that had been going wrong in my life was a consequence for all my sins and what not.

Recently, I have started building a relationship back to God and its not based on an “I want” basis. You know the kind that you only remember God when you need a favour. I constantly pray and seek him more because I have a deep conviction to know his plans for my life. I am pleased to write that God spoke to me. Not the Hey Naked soul, I am God, but it was a still voice I heard and a bible verse that keeps recurring in my head. To top it up, a song I had not sung in over 5 years was on my lips all day today.

I will celebrate, sing unto the Lord, i will sing to him a new song
Jehovah Jireh, My provider, Your grace is sufficient for me......

I am in a lot of debt, due to my unemployment status that’s been on for a while. I really cant point out how I have been getting money cuz I don’t even know. All I see is I always have enough to go by.

Anyway, last week I almost hit rock bottom. I had to urgently pay some money on my credit card and also buy some essentials. I was distraught. I was tired of asking my brothers to lend me money and I was really depressed. Ever since my rededication, I had been reading my bible every morning and a morning devotional. On two occasions, I cried myself to sleep, asking God the ultimate question “why me”? I have tried my best, people that have not even tried as much as I have, are in very comfortable positions. The morning after these two nights, the morning devotion talked on Matt 6:31-33. I cant say its coincidence. I don’t even know what to think. The verses got stuck in my head and I prayed a very simple prayer. Lord, just see me through this sudden money crisis. A voice in my head told me to write the most essential things I needed.
Can you believe that my brother told me not to bother paying him the debt back and he gave me some more money. I wasn’t expecting it cuz he’s a student and he’s also trying to make ends meet. Also, over the weekend, I was talking to two of my friends and I casually told them I needed a little money. Unexpectedly, they both told me to send my account number and gave me the little they could afford. I was in shock. As I type this, I have the exact money I wrote down that I needed.

God is very much alive and he speaks. With all these, I am confident that he will definitely see me through this phase of my life. A part of me feels I am going through all this to come out stronger, wiser and more independent. I feel good cuz it means no matter how much sin I may have committed, he is willing to forgive me.

I really appreciate the personal emails I have been getting from you guys. I feel like I am not alone and I am so glad I decided to start my own blog.